Patience, Gotta Have Patience

Patience is something that I have struggled with for years. I am a very methodical person. So I usually expect things to occur in a particular order. Over time I’ve slowly learned to deal with the fact that there are variables that even my best laid plans cannot account for. Most of those variables involve the actions of other individuals. I’m a woman who takes her time and thinks things through before coming to a firm decision. And I accept the fact that fickle people are my kryptonite.  :-/ There’s no other way to put it. Indecision irks me. I don’t react to it as badly as I used to but that has come with time and what? Patience.  🙂

I’m learning how to be more patient with myself, too. I don’t believe that emotions should be compartmentalized but I don’t think they should always be at the forefront of our minds. Allowing emotions to control all of our actions can become chaotic. Right now I have inner turmoil that can make me less patient with people than I would be normally. I have to learn how to distinguish when something else is affecting my mood or reaction.

I know that I’m not ready to take certain steps in my life at the moment either. I thought I was ready but I’m not. My epiphany is rather vague, I know. Suffice to say that I want to take more time out to tend to my feelings before anyone else’s. As much as I hate to admit it, I need to pay more attention to my emotions. I still want to avoid hurting other people’s feelings, but I won’t tap-dance around a situation and inevitably hurt myself to do it. It’s been a rough year and, I need to take some ‘me time.’ I’ll give myself a chance to heal. Then I’ll revisit the friendships and relationships I had to distance myself from. Things may change and they may not. The point is to address my well-being first.

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